Why did you make a site about Orcs?

Short answer: They’re cool.
Long answer: I’ve always been more interested in the villains and evil creatures of any story than the heroes. And I’ve been fascinated by Tolkien’s Orcs for quite a while. I suppose you could say they’re my favorite monsters. Besides, there are a huge amount of sites dedicated to the Hobbits and Elves. I figured the Orcs should get a fansite as well.

What’s up with that Lurtz page? And the sarcasm on it? Do you like him or not?

Once upon a time, there was a very silly girl who thought, "Hey! I'll make a fanpage about Lurtz! It'll be really funny because everybody hates Lurtz except me!" Turns out she was quite mistaken. The Lurtz page was made half-jokingly after seeing a lot of dumb LOTR character shrines (Especially gigantic Figwit shrines. I’ll never understand that.) on the web. Contrary to what you may think, I like the bastard. I wouldn’t have given him a whole section of his own if I didn’t. He just happens to be very easy to make fun of.

This would be nice if it didn’t have that slash crap in it.

That’s not a question.

Well, could you get rid of the slash then?

No.

Do I have to fill out a form or anything to adopt one of the chibis?

No. Just upload it to your own space, and either link the graphic back to my site, or provide a link next to it. I just ask that they not be used on anti-slash or character-bashing sites. That’s all. (By anti-slash I don't mean het or gen sites, but rather ones that go out of their way to state that it's icky and eeevil.)

Is this a book site or a movie site?

It’s not strictly based on either. I’m one of those rotten blasphemers who enjoyed both.

I have a really neat link/photo/whatnot. Want it?

Sure, if it’s relevant. (Really neat links about beekeeping or really neat photos of antique mustache combs aren’t all that useful.)

Do you believe you're an Orc in spirit, or were one in another life?

Nope. I just like them a lot. How dreadfully boring of me, eh?

Are there guidelines for submitting fiction and art?

Why, yes. And here they are.

Art:

You don’t have to be an incredibly skilled artist. Effort is nice though. Just nothing drawn on KFC napkins in crayon or anything like that. I'd prefer either .jpg or .gif format. .pngs are all right too, but .bmp files make me very cranky.

Fiction:

I know there’s barely any fanfiction here, but submissions are very much encouraged. I’m just putting up a few guidelines so you don’t waste your time sending something unwanted.

First, it better have an Orc in it. The main character doesn’t have to be an Orc, but they should play a reasonably important role. In other words, if you send me a story about Aragorn and Legolas, it won’t be put up here.

Please proofread your work (preferably beta-read too), checking spelling and grammar. The story should have a content rating (G, PG, PG-13, R, NC-17) and any applicable tags/warnings. A brief summary would be nice, too. Otherwise I'll have to write the summary, and then you'll be very sorry.

Things that will not be accepted: Blatant self-insertions, MPREG (unless it's a parody), chanslash/pedophilia, gratuitous or trivialized rape or violence.

That’s not to say all stories with original characters or some violent/unpleasant themes won’t be accepted. (After all, Orcs often lead violent lives, and not all original characters are Mary Sues. Some are great.) These sort of things will be judged individually. If it's got a grating second daughter of Elrond with violet eyes and a magic tiara, or it's some piece of tripe about Lurtz tormenting Legolas for 738 chapters so that Aragorn can come rescue his poor ickle Elf-woobie, forget it. In the words of the immortal Mr. Horse: No sir, I don't like it.

Humor fics are good, too. Hell, there aren’t enough of them outside the self-insert genre. So feel free to send along any humor/parody stories as well.

I’d prefer stories in HTML or RTF format, but .txt is OK too. Also, if they’re already on the web somewhere, just send me the link instead of a file. Same goes for art.